Park.

I'm going to the park with B, and my little brother. I have my knife, and B is bringing his bat so we can protect ourselves, and my little bro if anything happens. I really dont wanna go to this park because of all the trees and the fact that its dark, and sorta secluded, but my grandmother is making me take him. If I see anything that doesnt seem right I'll leave. Its probably gonna be fine, but i'm saying this, so if something happens to me you'll know what happened.

Sunday.

Ok, so its Sunday and my grandmother is making me go to church. Oh god. Its gonna be kinda funny going to church with a knife tucked into my belt under my pink and black dress. I don't trust that Jared and his buddies would have much respect for a church. Is it weird to say I feel like one of those agents from the movies? Like the chicks in the seemingly innocent dresses, with like guns and knives strapped to every part of their body under it? In all seriousness though... I never go anywhere without my knife, because I don't really like the idea of getting either A) knifed again, or B) getting beat or C) getting strangled, and not at all be prepared.If I'm gonna die I'm gonna go out swinging, and knife a few motherfuckers.

Awesome picture of me.

Thanks for the awesome picture of me Spyre, its really cool, and it makes me look badass :)

Weird dreams.

Ok, so I've been having weird dreams for the last week. In all them I see marcus, B, my friend sheila, and a redhead girl I've never seen before holding hands and standing in front of a dark foggy forest. They all start saying something I cant understand, that sounds like its maybe in a different language.All of them except the redhead. She never says anything, just stands there holding their hands with her eyes closed. Always at the end either sheila, B, or marcus smile at me and then say: Go to the trees, the tall one waits. Ok,so I took a nap earlier( at about 7) and this time the dream was different. They were all holding hands as usual and the three were talking the gibberish, but this time at the end, the redhead opened her eyes, let go of B's hand, and ran up to me. She looked me in the eyes and I realized she had all black eyes which was scary. This chick grabbed my hand and said: Turn to the shadows, trust not the trees, only the dark is your friend. She then turned toward the woods, and I followed her gaze to see a huge dark figure start to step from the trees. She turned back to me, screamed run and thats when I woke up. So I have always had a weird thing with my dreams in the past, where if I had a dream more than once whatever it was would either come true, or symbolize something major that was about to happen to me. This is the first time I've had a reoccurring dream like this in 2 years, so I'm not sure if it really means anything or not.

Fun in Portland...

Ok, so I had to go to Portland today with my grandmother. NEVER AGAIN. My little brother had a doctors appointment there, so I had to go, but she didnt make me actually go in. I was allowed to leave and do whatever I wanted.I used to live in portland so I know it like the back of my hand, so my first thought was"hey lets go to that creepy park you played in as a kid." I decided to go because it was super close. Ok, so I went there and it was basicly empty, except for like 3 hooded teenagers sitting on a bench facing away from me. Ok, so I went over to some swings and sat down on one of them, and put my headphones in. I was there for a good 5 minutes, when I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder. It scared the shit out of me. I turned around and guess who I saw? One disgusting word: Jared... Seeing him scared me and made me jump off the swing. He wasnt alone. The 3 guys I saw,were just him and 2 other dudes. New friends of Jared maybe? You would think they would at least be decent enough to show me their faces and not hide them under masks. I just didnt notice it was them because I couldnt see their faces, and you see alot of hooded punk/ swag fags in Portland. So long story short, I knocked out one guy, pretty sure I broke Jared's nose when I slammed his face into a tree, and ran away from the second guy. I swear I'm so done with this shit.

B's blog.

Ok so B just made and posted on his own blog because I told him so. So heres the link for anyone who wants it. now you can see all this from the point of view from the wonderful world of B.

Back

Hey guys its kendra. Ok so I saw what B put on here. I'm here i'm fine. Was in my kitchen, when I heard a noise behind me. The next thing I remember I'm in a wooded park close to my house, and its 8 in the morning. I dont know what happened, and I have no idea how I got there and how I could forget several hours of my life. B basicly attacked me with a hug when he saw me though.

This is B. I dont know how to say this but kendra is gone. I'm at her house. She said she was going to the kitchen to get something. I heard loud noise from there, but when I went in to see she was just gone. The back door was unlocked the kitchen is a mess and she left her knife on the island. I dont know where she could possibly be. Kendra gave me the info to log into this account in case something happened to her. Does anyone know where she could have gone?

Allies.

Posting this from school right now. Ok so found a guy named marcus who understands all of this. He looked at me in math, said a proxy got you huh? and gestured at my arm. He told me that he knew of my problem from the very start, and had similar issues, but havent had any trouble for 3 months now. He said that he felt responsible for me in a way, and wanted to help me out. I would expect for a guy whom seemingly got away from all this madness that he wouldnt wanna go back, but apparently its the complete opposite. He wants back in. He wants to help the runners, he wants to be part of what he calls his runner family, and thinks hes now disconnected from this family. He told me that being away from everything made him feel lonely and kinda guilty that hes ok but his family isnt. I know this sounds stupid, but I kinda trust him. Hes really cool, and doesnt scare the crap out of me like Jared did.