I don't need a month to decide my fate. I have already decided to decline Lilith's offer. I have no desire to be her servant, and I don't see how she can do anything about it. B is now in a safe place where no one can harm him, so I can move on to my next goal without worrying about him.

What is my next goal? That is what some of you are probably wondering now. Well some things I have heard about have greatly angered me, and I hope to make it right. Concerning a dirty servant in possession of something that is none of his concern. With their permission I hope to assist Med, and Carter in obtaining the sword.

It's alright everyone. I'm alright. Yes Lilith took me away, but no I was not harmed, nor was I punished in any way for the things I have done against her. If anything my visit to the garden was... enlightening. Lilith says i'm special, says i'm different, says i'm her favorite.

You see I was part of a special experiment from birth. I was one of over 100 babies that were injected with all sorts of nasty things, mostly taken from other Fears. Lilith had this done in order to create a special servant to aid her in her mission. Of those hundred children, I was the only functioning survivor. By this I mean that there were a few other than me that live through it all, but they were all deformed, and mentally unstable.

She made sierra raise me, because she was one of the best female servants she had. I was trained well, and treated well, but no one ever let on that I was different in any way, and Sierra was forbidden to treat me like I was any different from any other of the children in the garden.

But now I know the truth. I'm much faster, and stronger, and smarter than the others. I also never age like the others. I have the ability to hide myself from people, and Fears, which is why Sierra could never find me when I left. And now Lilith wants me to help her get rid of the siblings that she hates. She promises that B and I can go live with surviving members of my mom's family when I am done helping her, and that we will never be bothered by any Fear again if we so please. 

I have a month from today in normal time to make my decision.     

This is why we cant have nice things.

Shes gone. Just gone. Actually more like stolen away. Lilith came for her last night, and i couldnt do anything about it. she grabbed her arm and was just gone like that. I hate to think what terrible things she is now going through there, and i can only hope she finds her way back to me somehow. For now I will sit and wait for her. And if she never returns then i will die here alone with only thoughts of her to keep me sane.

I wont let this happen again.

After she came back in from doing whatever it was she did to the guy, I went searching around in kendra's old room because of a odd hunch I had concerning clarrisa's weird behavior. I found the box she had mentioned in a recent post, and realized the knife and holster she had outside was one from the box. I went out to the living room and demanding to see the knife she had, she got a pissed look on her face, and the next thing I know I'm waking up in a locked cupboard with the mother of all headaches. I then heard her crying loudly and calling my name, asking where I was. I called out her name, and she ripped open the cupboard with the most shocked look on her face as she softly asked "Why the hell are you hiding in the cupboard?" She claims not to remember taking the knife, attacking the guy, knocking me out, or making the bitchy post and comments. The last thing she remembers is making the post about the box, then reaching to touch one of the dresses in the box. Also I knew that I remembered the look she gave the guy when cutting him. It's the same look kendra gave me when she was killing me for the first time. I think it's time to get rid of this box....

Since B seems to be having a childish fit over the things I do, he wont be posting for awhile. Because you see, I don't like his attitude right now.

And what do we do with things we don't like? We lock them in the cupboard.

Scary? Yeah you could say that...

Clarrisa told me to stay inside because she heard something outside. Of course I won't listen because technically I'm older. But she went out and I followed her. What happened next is definitely a surprise to anyone. She ran out, pulled a knife from a holster thing on her leg, which I didnt even know she had, and took down the guy that has been following us with a speed that I have never seen anyone go. She tied him up and her voice changed from the cutesie innocent teenager tone she always has to a lower more dangerous, and pretty freaking scary tone of voice. She then started bascially interrogating him, and when she didnt get the answers she wanted... she cut his ear off, then drug him kicking and screaming to the shed out back. She came back like half a hour later, and acted like nothing happened. When I went out back, the shed was just gone. And i'm starting to think shes not as innocent and shielded as she makes everyone think she is.

*UPDATE*

Found a large box with blood covered dresses, and knives inside. It was labelled as: "Clothing For Chaos." Anyone have any idea what it might be here for?

Also I keep hearing footsteps outside in the dark. I'm sure there's someone out there. It might mean we need to get out soon, so I might not be posting again for awhile. I'll update you again as soon as I can if anything big happens.

B brought me to my mom's old house. Surprising everything is neat, and pretty untouched, except for the kitchen, bloodstains on the floor, and shallow graves out back. I would have thought someone would have come in and removed the stuff from the house, because the people living there are now dead, but I was apparently wrong.

B showed me my mother's old room, and I have to say that at first I was sure we had the wrong room. Let me explain why... They was nothing girlie in there. No pink, or anything like that. There was one dress in the closet and it was a black dress with skulls on it. It just wasn't the kind of room I would expect from her. There were dark band posters all over the walls, dark red curtains over the windows, and a bed with black and purple blankets. The clothing here consisted of ripped pants, shirt and bracelets with music groups on them, and dark hoodies. There was a long piece of wood with wheels on it, in the closet. B called it a long board.

He is encouraging me to take whatever I want to replace my old clothes, or get to know my mom better or some shit like that. I don't know if I will though. Although I think I might take the music device in here. We are gonna stay here a few days because its a place to stay, but other than that I don't know.

The 4th?

There are alot of exploding lights in the sky here. It scared me at first, but B explained that they were part of a celebration on this day. He calls them fireworks. I must say that its one of the best things I've ever seen. And to think that this place has a special time just to set off explosives, and people actually enjoy watching them.

Now B and I are currently sitting on a rooftop, with burgers, and some kind of slightly bitter drink, just watching the fireworks. This is probably the most I've ever heard him talk to me, and its sorta nice to be honest. I'm starting to think that he might actually be warming up to me, which makes me happy for some reason. 

"So what do you think about that picture?"
"You want to know what I really think?"
"Well yeah. That's why I asked."
"I think that Malik guy was right about the whole new stalker thing."
"Well that's nice to know. Think we should be concerned?"
"Nah....I don't think Sean would do anything too bad."
"Wait. Who? I thought you said you didn't know who it was earlier?"
"Oops. Did I say that? My bad."
"Yeah you did. So who is it? I want to know everything you know or think you might now. Right now."
"Ok. Ok. Calm down woman. Its your uncle. One of your mother's only living brothers. I thought he was dead, but then again any Fear could have come in and brought him back for whatever reason."
"Your shitting me."
"Nope. Even in that dark lighting, I know his face enough to tell that its him."
"Could Lilith have done it? Bring him back I mean?"
"I very much doubt it. I'm thinking more Slendy, or Darkness."
"Well shit....."