B and I were headed to New Zealand, to meet up with some people. I'm not gonna even bother saying names, since anyone with a functioning brain probably knows who anyway. We had not a lot of problems up to that point, even though it meant that problems would eventually come back with twice as much force. Something I've come to realize is that quiet isnt always that great of a thing, when you have powerful enemies planning your demise behind your back.

We were just resting  in a safe house, one of his contacts had told him about. They are usually cramped little places with no windows, and way too much dust. This one was by no stretch of the mind a exception to this norm. It was cold, dark, and not too comfy for us. The room we were in only had 2 chairs, and a small bed in the corner. I was sitting in one corner, on the floor drawing cats in my sketch book, and he was sitting in a chair looking over at me with a gloomy look on his face. Considering he was usually pretty upbeat, this was very weird, but even so it took me awhile to realize something was up with him. 


"Ok whats up kiddo,why you staring? You know if you take a picture it will last longer?"  I looked up from my drawing, and tilted my head a bit at him. We both just sat there for a good 10 minutes staring at each other, not saying a single word. I figured if he was going to give me the silent act, then I would play along until he cracked like a egg for me. Safe to say my tactics worked, because he finally sighed and looked away from me for a second.

"I've been thinking." I just nodded slightly at him, with a smile. " Ah, yes. Well good to know you have a brain in that head then." Not a smile, or smirk, or even the usually chuckle from him. At this point I was really starting to worry a bit about him. Thinking perhaps he was offended by my sarcasm. But then again he already was frowning before I said anything to him, so I figured maybe something was really wrong.

"Do you really think I should be going with you to do this thing? Wont I just get in the way or something?" His comment really surprised me. Not once did I ever think bringing him along was a bad idea. I figured he would be able to help one way or another. He could defend himself just fine, and had a good head on his shoulders. It was strange to me, that he would doubt for even a second of his worth to this mission.

" No way, B. I would never just leave you behind. What kind of jerk leaves their companion behind." Then it really hit me. There was something else here. Something he was holding back from me. I could just tell from the looking he was giving me. " But, what's really going on here? What are you really wanting to know?"

The change in his faces when i said those words, left no doubt in my mind that there was something else wrong that he wasnt saying. "How do you....?" "Know? So there is something isnt there?" He got up and started to walk to the door. I thought he was going to leave the room, and avoid my question, but he just shut it, and sat back down.

"I'm going to have to leave soon, and  let you continue alone, C." I sat there and stared at him in disbelief. "What. The. Hell. Why the hell would you do that? Your just going to abandon me now? You might as well have left without telling me, because I'm not going to let you go." I was beyond angry, and right on the verge of screaming at him. The only thing keep me from it, was the knowledge that yelling would just make things worse.

"I think we have gotten too close. I first sought you out to make sure you were still alive, and taken care of, because of your mothers wishes. We were never suppose to get this close at all. Now don't think I'm just leaving you without anything at all. I'm going to give you some money, and a few contacts so you have places to stay on your way to New Zealand. But as far as me going with you... It isnt happening." I stood and paced around the room a bit in anger, trying to decide what i should do.

"So what? Your just going to leave like that? There is nothing wrong with getting close. Don't go because you don't want to make me unconfortable. Because I'm not." "Wait no. I get it now. You played me for a fool. You never cared in the first place, but some sick thrill from helping the damsel in distress. Is that it?!" Regardless on what I said about not getting angry, and yelling...I got angry and was yelling. He looked just as angry as I felt, when I said that to him.

"That's not fucking it, and you know it."

"Then what the fuck is it asshole?"

"I WONT FUCKING DO IT AGAIN OK?! I CAN'T BARE TO SEE ANOTHER GIRL I LOVE THROW AWAY HER LIFE FOR A LOST CAUSE WHEN SHE HAS THE CHOICE TO WALK AWAY FROM IT. FROM ME. I CANT FUCKING BE WITH YOU BECAUSE I WILL JUST DRAG YOU DOWN FURTHER. I DON'T WANT TO WATCH YOU DIE GODDAMN IT."  With that he grabbed his bag, and stormed out of the room. I just sat and for the first time in my life cried.

I went out later to find he was already gone. The guy that ran the place gave me large a envelope, and said B had left it for me. It had a list of numbers/ names, and enough money to last me awhile. I can't believe he thought the only way to save me was to leave. I can't believe hes gone. Worst of all I can't believe I let him go.