Sunday, December 21, 2014

B and I were headed to New Zealand, to meet up with some people. I'm not gonna even bother saying names, since anyone with a functioning brain probably knows who anyway. We had not a lot of problems up to that point, even though it meant that problems would eventually come back with twice as much force. Something I've come to realize is that quiet isnt always that great of a thing, when you have powerful enemies planning your demise behind your back.

We were just resting  in a safe house, one of his contacts had told him about. They are usually cramped little places with no windows, and way too much dust. This one was by no stretch of the mind a exception to this norm. It was cold, dark, and not too comfy for us. The room we were in only had 2 chairs, and a small bed in the corner. I was sitting in one corner, on the floor drawing cats in my sketch book, and he was sitting in a chair looking over at me with a gloomy look on his face. Considering he was usually pretty upbeat, this was very weird, but even so it took me awhile to realize something was up with him. 


"Ok whats up kiddo,why you staring? You know if you take a picture it will last longer?"  I looked up from my drawing, and tilted my head a bit at him. We both just sat there for a good 10 minutes staring at each other, not saying a single word. I figured if he was going to give me the silent act, then I would play along until he cracked like a egg for me. Safe to say my tactics worked, because he finally sighed and looked away from me for a second.

"I've been thinking." I just nodded slightly at him, with a smile. " Ah, yes. Well good to know you have a brain in that head then." Not a smile, or smirk, or even the usually chuckle from him. At this point I was really starting to worry a bit about him. Thinking perhaps he was offended by my sarcasm. But then again he already was frowning before I said anything to him, so I figured maybe something was really wrong.

"Do you really think I should be going with you to do this thing? Wont I just get in the way or something?" His comment really surprised me. Not once did I ever think bringing him along was a bad idea. I figured he would be able to help one way or another. He could defend himself just fine, and had a good head on his shoulders. It was strange to me, that he would doubt for even a second of his worth to this mission.

" No way, B. I would never just leave you behind. What kind of jerk leaves their companion behind." Then it really hit me. There was something else here. Something he was holding back from me. I could just tell from the looking he was giving me. " But, what's really going on here? What are you really wanting to know?"

The change in his faces when i said those words, left no doubt in my mind that there was something else wrong that he wasnt saying. "How do you....?" "Know? So there is something isnt there?" He got up and started to walk to the door. I thought he was going to leave the room, and avoid my question, but he just shut it, and sat back down.

"I'm going to have to leave soon, and  let you continue alone, C." I sat there and stared at him in disbelief. "What. The. Hell. Why the hell would you do that? Your just going to abandon me now? You might as well have left without telling me, because I'm not going to let you go." I was beyond angry, and right on the verge of screaming at him. The only thing keep me from it, was the knowledge that yelling would just make things worse.

"I think we have gotten too close. I first sought you out to make sure you were still alive, and taken care of, because of your mothers wishes. We were never suppose to get this close at all. Now don't think I'm just leaving you without anything at all. I'm going to give you some money, and a few contacts so you have places to stay on your way to New Zealand. But as far as me going with you... It isnt happening." I stood and paced around the room a bit in anger, trying to decide what i should do.

"So what? Your just going to leave like that? There is nothing wrong with getting close. Don't go because you don't want to make me unconfortable. Because I'm not." "Wait no. I get it now. You played me for a fool. You never cared in the first place, but some sick thrill from helping the damsel in distress. Is that it?!" Regardless on what I said about not getting angry, and yelling...I got angry and was yelling. He looked just as angry as I felt, when I said that to him.

"That's not fucking it, and you know it."

"Then what the fuck is it asshole?"

"I WONT FUCKING DO IT AGAIN OK?! I CAN'T BARE TO SEE ANOTHER GIRL I LOVE THROW AWAY HER LIFE FOR A LOST CAUSE WHEN SHE HAS THE CHOICE TO WALK AWAY FROM IT. FROM ME. I CANT FUCKING BE WITH YOU BECAUSE I WILL JUST DRAG YOU DOWN FURTHER. I DON'T WANT TO WATCH YOU DIE GODDAMN IT."  With that he grabbed his bag, and stormed out of the room. I just sat and for the first time in my life cried.

I went out later to find he was already gone. The guy that ran the place gave me large a envelope, and said B had left it for me. It had a list of numbers/ names, and enough money to last me awhile. I can't believe he thought the only way to save me was to leave. I can't believe hes gone. Worst of all I can't believe I let him go.

Sunday, September 28, 2014

I don't need a month to decide my fate. I have already decided to decline Lilith's offer. I have no desire to be her servant, and I don't see how she can do anything about it. B is now in a safe place where no one can harm him, so I can move on to my next goal without worrying about him.

What is my next goal? That is what some of you are probably wondering now. Well some things I have heard about have greatly angered me, and I hope to make it right. Concerning a dirty servant in possession of something that is none of his concern. With their permission I hope to assist Med, and Carter in obtaining the sword.

Saturday, September 27, 2014

It's alright everyone. I'm alright. Yes Lilith took me away, but no I was not harmed, nor was I punished in any way for the things I have done against her. If anything my visit to the garden was... enlightening. Lilith says i'm special, says i'm different, says i'm her favorite.

You see I was part of a special experiment from birth. I was one of over 100 babies that were injected with all sorts of nasty things, mostly taken from other Fears. Lilith had this done in order to create a special servant to aid her in her mission. Of those hundred children, I was the only functioning survivor. By this I mean that there were a few other than me that live through it all, but they were all deformed, and mentally unstable.

She made sierra raise me, because she was one of the best female servants she had. I was trained well, and treated well, but no one ever let on that I was different in any way, and Sierra was forbidden to treat me like I was any different from any other of the children in the garden.

But now I know the truth. I'm much faster, and stronger, and smarter than the others. I also never age like the others. I have the ability to hide myself from people, and Fears, which is why Sierra could never find me when I left. And now Lilith wants me to help her get rid of the siblings that she hates. She promises that B and I can go live with surviving members of my mom's family when I am done helping her, and that we will never be bothered by any Fear again if we so please. 

I have a month from today in normal time to make my decision.     

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

This is why we cant have nice things.

Shes gone. Just gone. Actually more like stolen away. Lilith came for her last night, and i couldnt do anything about it. she grabbed her arm and was just gone like that. I hate to think what terrible things she is now going through there, and i can only hope she finds her way back to me somehow. For now I will sit and wait for her. And if she never returns then i will die here alone with only thoughts of her to keep me sane.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

I wont let this happen again.

After she came back in from doing whatever it was she did to the guy, I went searching around in kendra's old room because of a odd hunch I had concerning clarrisa's weird behavior. I found the box she had mentioned in a recent post, and realized the knife and holster she had outside was one from the box. I went out to the living room and demanding to see the knife she had, she got a pissed look on her face, and the next thing I know I'm waking up in a locked cupboard with the mother of all headaches. I then heard her crying loudly and calling my name, asking where I was. I called out her name, and she ripped open the cupboard with the most shocked look on her face as she softly asked "Why the hell are you hiding in the cupboard?" She claims not to remember taking the knife, attacking the guy, knocking me out, or making the bitchy post and comments. The last thing she remembers is making the post about the box, then reaching to touch one of the dresses in the box. Also I knew that I remembered the look she gave the guy when cutting him. It's the same look kendra gave me when she was killing me for the first time. I think it's time to get rid of this box....

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Since B seems to be having a childish fit over the things I do, he wont be posting for awhile. Because you see, I don't like his attitude right now.

And what do we do with things we don't like? We lock them in the cupboard.

Monday, August 4, 2014

Scary? Yeah you could say that...

Clarrisa told me to stay inside because she heard something outside. Of course I won't listen because technically I'm older. But she went out and I followed her. What happened next is definitely a surprise to anyone. She ran out, pulled a knife from a holster thing on her leg, which I didnt even know she had, and took down the guy that has been following us with a speed that I have never seen anyone go. She tied him up and her voice changed from the cutesie innocent teenager tone she always has to a lower more dangerous, and pretty freaking scary tone of voice. She then started bascially interrogating him, and when she didnt get the answers she wanted... she cut his ear off, then drug him kicking and screaming to the shed out back. She came back like half a hour later, and acted like nothing happened. When I went out back, the shed was just gone. And i'm starting to think shes not as innocent and shielded as she makes everyone think she is.

*UPDATE*

Found a large box with blood covered dresses, and knives inside. It was labelled as: "Clothing For Chaos." Anyone have any idea what it might be here for?

Also I keep hearing footsteps outside in the dark. I'm sure there's someone out there. It might mean we need to get out soon, so I might not be posting again for awhile. I'll update you again as soon as I can if anything big happens.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

B brought me to my mom's old house. Surprising everything is neat, and pretty untouched, except for the kitchen, bloodstains on the floor, and shallow graves out back. I would have thought someone would have come in and removed the stuff from the house, because the people living there are now dead, but I was apparently wrong.

B showed me my mother's old room, and I have to say that at first I was sure we had the wrong room. Let me explain why... They was nothing girlie in there. No pink, or anything like that. There was one dress in the closet and it was a black dress with skulls on it. It just wasn't the kind of room I would expect from her. There were dark band posters all over the walls, dark red curtains over the windows, and a bed with black and purple blankets. The clothing here consisted of ripped pants, shirt and bracelets with music groups on them, and dark hoodies. There was a long piece of wood with wheels on it, in the closet. B called it a long board.

He is encouraging me to take whatever I want to replace my old clothes, or get to know my mom better or some shit like that. I don't know if I will though. Although I think I might take the music device in here. We are gonna stay here a few days because its a place to stay, but other than that I don't know.